The impending NFL lockout holds the fate of the 2011 Fantasy Football season in its hands, as well as the the five-month long excuse millions of husbands use to be left alone. The Heckler recently sat down with your wife, who is extremely excited about all the housework you’ll be doing instead of playing Fantasy Football this year.
“Seventeen Sundays and Monday nights between September and January have just opened up,” your wife said ecstatically. “Instead of drinking beer and caring about which team gives what running back the ball on the goal line, we can cross so many things off my list.”
This was a subject your wife was more than happy to discuss.
“There will be no Opening Week in September, meaning we can spend a whole Sunday along with Thursday and Monday night working in the yard,” your wife said, more excited than anyone has seen her in months. “We’ll finally get the lawn ready for winter.”
It’s obvious your wife has been thinking about the NFL labor talks.
“Sure, the weather may be crummy some days, but there’s so much we can do inside,” you wife said, nearly delusional with giddy. “Instead of the usual January tradition–following 16 NFL games, hoping a Fantasy team can make the playoffs–we can spend that entire day giving the kitchen a good, hard cleaning. I mean really attacking it.”
By Tim Butterly