The 2010-11 NBA season may not have been a disappointment after all for Miami Heat stars LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. Days after losing the Finals, James and Wade were named the 2011 co-Flopping Champions in honor of their outrageous displays of faking getting fouled throughout the playoffs. Wade is no stranger to the award — he is the seven-time defending Flopping Champion — but James is a first-time recipient.
“I am honored to win this coveted piece of hardware,” James said. “No one flops like me and Wade. To all the people that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day, they have to wake up tomorrow and not look like they got hit with sniper fire like I do when a hand comes within three feet of my face.”
The two stars, disappointed in their failure to win the 2011 NBA title, schemed ways to find a successful shortcut to any professional sports title. Realizing their flopping attributes would likely translate into elite soccer careers, James and Wade are heading to England to join 2011 Premier League Champion Manchester United.
“LeBron and Wade are the best floppers I have ever seen, and that is saying something,” said Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson. “If there is one thing soccer players know how to do, it is flop. This one bloke faked being head-butted and sold it all the way through his burial and a funeral. A championship commitment. But if you watch the replay he never got touched. Bloody brilliant! LeBron and Wade should fit right in.”
James knew he was joining a ready-made champion, but was surprisingly unaware of Manchester United’s history of dominance. James initially promised the people of Greater Manchester “at least eight titles,” but when learning of Manchester United’s 19 league titles already under its belt, James gleefully amended his prediction to, “not twenty, not twenty-one, not twenty-two, not twenty-three, not twenty-four, not twenty-five, not twenty-six…”
By Jimmy Juliano