These days, former Cubs manager Lou Piniella doesn’t have a care in the world. He is enjoying retirement and his cushy new job as a “consultant” with the San Francisco Giants. And to help line his pockets for the future, Piniella recently joined the likes of Keith Hernandez, Emmitt Smith and Randy Johnson to advertise Just for Men hair dye.

“Look, those years in Chicago dealing with guys like Zambrano and Soriano left me with a lot of gray. It really did,” says Piniella in the television ads. “But with Just for Men, even my four-day growth of beard stubble is looking dark and natural. I’m like a new man.”

While Piniella is personally satisfied with his new endorsement deal, the Just for Men crew were none-too-pleased with the length of time it took to tape the 30-second spot.

“We’d call ‘action’ and Lou would be nodding off to sleep,” said Executive Producer Nate Franklin. “The commercial we did with Emmitt Smith took less than two hours to record, but Lou was in our studio for a week and a half. He kept calling me ‘Little Fontenot’ and wouldn’t stop asking when his pizza and piña coladas were going to be delivered. It was a brutal experience.”

By Jeremy Barewin. Photoshop by Kurt Evans

Jeremy Barewin