Jimmer Fredette’s legacy will live on forever at BYU, as university alumni have announced the team mascot will be changed from the Cougars to the Jimmers in honor of the senior’s outstanding achievements and basketball career.
Members made a decision to allow Fredette the ability to select the mascot of his choice to represent BYU’s future students since nobody knew the technical definition of a Jimmer. Naturally, the university placed their trust in Fredette, as they always have in tough times, to make the appropriate selection.
“We have no idea what a Jimmer is, but we’re excited to be making this transition at BYU,” said the alumni president. “Jimmer Fredette has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that basketball players are not the sinners we assumed them to be … well most of them, anyway.”
“Honestly, being a Cougar wasn’t all that exciting so it’ll be something totally radical,” said Fredette. “I was thinking along the lines of a demon, a snake or a beer bong. It’s time for a new change.”
When board members got wind of Fredette’s possible selections, they reluctantly sided with their iconic senior, as they always have. “Well, they certainly wouldn’t have been our first choices but maybe this will bring BYU into the future and make us the hip college all students want to attend.”
“I don’t really care what they think because I’m out of here,” said Fredette. “They’ve never said no to me before, so why would they now? Maybe in a few years you’ll see BYU on top of the party college list. Long live the BYU Jimmers, bitches.”
By Morgann Spicer