Frustrations and tempers boiled over Monday as the 11th-place Blackhawks dropped yet another critical win to the Calgary Flames. With the loss, their post-season hopes continued to dwindle further away, which caused players to question: what happened to the Stanley Cup champions?

Duncan Keith had no problem elaborating the reasons behind the Hawks’ most recent struggles.

“I should have started dropping f-bombs from game one to whip this team into shape,” said the Norris Trophy defenseman. “We’re playing worse than an [expletive deleted] juniors team. If I would have started cussing earlier in the season, we’d be [expletive deleted] unbeatable.”

When asked if scoring more goals and playing better defense would have improved the chances at a post-season run, Keith was not having it.

“[Expletive deleted] my teammates and [expletive deleted] scoring goals,” said Keith. “If they can’t swear like a man, they can play hockey with Sidney Crosby and let his virgin ears listen to their whining.”

Teammates and coaches backed Keith and agreed if more foul language had been used earlier in the season, the Hawks would be a team to reckon with.

“We’re going to take this [expletive deleted] opportunity late in the season and begin building our [expletive deleted] momentum now for next season,” said Joel Quenneville.

“Kaner and I are [expletive deleted] excited about this new team energy,” said Jonathan Toews. “Now he can drink his ass off and swear like a real hockey player both on and off the ice. We can’t wait for the city and our fans to [expletive deleted] embrace this new Blackhawks attitude.”

By Morgann Spicer

Morgann Spicer