It seems the Cubs can’t go an entire season without dedicating a statue to a former member of the organization, and this year looks to be no different. To honor Ron Santo, the team will erect a statue of the legendary third baseman to stand outside Wrigley Field.
The statue, to be situated outside the bleachers at the corner of Waveland and Sheffield, will come with an added bonus. The toupee that Santo famously wore will now serve as an indicator of how the Cubs fared on any given day, sitting atop the statue’s head on days they win, while being taken off on days they lose.
“If there’s one thing Ronnie was known for other than his love of the Cubs, it was his customary toupee,” said Tom Ricketts in a press conference announcing the decision. “It’s only fitting that we incorporate it into his statue.”
Although many fans are happy that Santo gets a statue, many more are upset about the statue it will replace. In order to make room for Ronnie, the Cubs must move the statue of Harry Caray for a second time, placing it in the men’s room underneath the bleachers.
“Harry loved the bleachers,” said Ricketts in defense of his decision. “And now he can remain there with his beloved bleacher bums full-time.”
And just as Ronnie’s statue will serve more of a purpose, so will Harry’s. An automatic hand dryer will be incorporated into the statue, adding another convenience to Wrigley Field that fans should be happy about.
“There are a lot of fans that can say their teams have won a World Series within the past hundred years,” said an enthusiastic Ricketts. “But how many of those fans can say that Harry Caray dried their hands during a baseball game?”