Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has become well-known for insisting on dressing like a Sherpa mountain guide on the sidelines. This has inspired the coach to introduce his own line of “NFL Sherpa Wear” for those who also wish to resemble unbathed, mud-covered mountain folk.

“Dressing like a mule-riding frozen nomad really speaks to me,” said Belichick. “The feeling of cold isolation and comfort with imminent death has shaped my personality.”

Although the coach hasn’t had much luck with the sales of his new line of Sherpa Wear, he fully plans to display his fashions on the sidelines the rest of this season. Expect to see the coach looking frigid, angry and exhausted with raw mystery meat strapped to his back. The basket of meat will also display a barely visible Patriots logo covered in mud and Gatorade.

“The meat basket look is my favorite,” said Belichick. “It’s so fashion forward and people have told me it’s downright terrifying … which is exactly the look I’m going for.”

By Andy Landgrebe | Photoshop by Kurt Evans

Andy Landgrebe