Like all Minor Leaguers, Cubs Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg dreams of reaching the Majors one day, only this time as a manager instead of a player. In a desperate attempt to fulfill that dream, Sandberg is considering accepting an offer from Joe Girardi to become the Yankees’ next bat boy.

“Well … he knows a lot about bats, having used them a lot during his 15-year career,” said Girardi, when questioned on whether Sandberg was actually qualified to be a Major League bat boy. “And with his reputation for giving his all on every play, I know our guys will never have to wait for their equipment.”

If Sandberg accepts the job, he’ll immediately become the record holder in several categories for MLB bat boys. At the age of 51, he’ll be the oldest to ever put on the uniform. He’ll also become the tallest bat boy in history, towering over the next in line by over a foot.

“His height is a real advantage,” said Girardi. “I can’t tell you how many times one of our bat boys slowed the game down by not being able to reach a bat in the rack. It can get quite frustrating, and I know with Ryno in charge, we’ll never have that problem.”

In addition to becoming the Yankees bat boy, Sandberg reportedly also has offers from the Red Sox as a part of the grounds crew and from the Royals as a peanut vendor. Many people in baseball look at these positions as a demotion, but Sandberg doesn’t see it that way.

“I’ve always said that it was my goal to get back to the bigs,” he said. “And if I have to hand out bats, mow the grass, or sell peanuts, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

By Michael Kloempken

Michael Kloempken