In a surprise move, the White Sox, winners of the first-ever BP Crosstown Cup, have voted to award the trophy to suspended Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano.

“Carlos just deserves this trophy more than we do,” said Sox captain Paul Konerko. “He embodies everything BP stands for: He’s toxic, erupts unpredictably, and once he gets flowing, there’s no stopping him.”

Sox manager Ozzie Guillen agreed.

“We culd not win stupid BP Cup w/o [Zambrano],” he said in a Twitter post. “We hit dat [expletive deleted] for 4 runs, and he melt down. He really lift our moral, the way he let us win easy.”

White Sox front office personnel are planning to fill the BP Cup with sludge skimmed off of the Louisiana coastline and deliver it to Zambrano at his next dinner date with Guillen.

By Cary Nathenson