The rumors swirling around LeBron James’ possible future as a Bull were stoked yesterday when the team reportedly offered four members of James’ entourage “honorary positions” with the franchise.
“They’ll technically be added to United Center ticketing operations,” said Chicago Tribune Bulls beat writer K.C. Johnson. “They would obviously have no responsibilities should James join the team.”
Sources claim the overture might be enough to sway the reigning MVP, who depends on his entourage for everything from security to daily encouragement to procuring hot chicks. If the Bulls were to share in the burden of paying these hangers-on, James might just don the red and black next season.
Other teams have reportedly countered the Bulls’ job offers to LeBron’s associates. Miami would like them to become “special consultants” of the Miami Heat Dancers. The Cavs already have them on their payroll and simply gave them 250 percent raises. The Knicks made the best offer, putting a GM deal in front one of James’ cronies.
“It can’t be any worse than the morons we’ve already had running this show,” said Knicks owner James Dolan. “As long as the guy doesn’t re-sign Stephon Marbury or re-up Eddy Curry’s deal or sexually harrass interns all day, we’ll be better off than we have been for the last 10 years.”
By George Ellis