A current radio ad campaign that speaks to “Cubs tradition” inspired new Cubs owner Tom Ricketts to experiment with the “way of life” of a Cubs fan as he passed out in the bleachers after his ninth Mai Tai during a recent game at Wrigley.

Sources said that Ricketts drank all of the Mai Tais while mingling with fans in the bleachers, then wandered over to an open seat and passed out.

“Wow, that really is a true Cubs fan experience,” said Cindy Reese, 27, of Schaumburg. “The bleachers are the most appropriate place for a real fan to get blindly drunk.”

Ricketts said he didn’t remember drinking more than one Mai Tai, but rumors were circulating Wrigleyville that his behavior was captured on video by several fans with cell phone cameras.

“It isn’t like me to do that, but if anyone has the video on their cell phone, please give me your phone so I can watch it,” said Ricketts the next day, nursing a headache. “No matter what you do with that video, please don’t post it on YouTube.”

Ricketts added that he is willing to pay an extortion fee for original copies of the video, or, he said, “one-half of Zambrano’s contract, whichever is more.”

From the May 2010 issue by Rob C. Christiansen. Click here to subscribe today!