Cubs owner Tom Ricketts is aiming to do his country proud by winning gold in Figure Skating at this year’s Winter Games.

“I can do this. I know I can!” said the Cubs owner while recently boarding a plane to Vancouver. “I’ve got all my rhinestone unitards packed and ready to go.”

Ricketts said he plans to open the competition with a passionate routine to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On,” which is sure to play well in Canada. He even will incorporate a heal-clicking tribute to Ron Santo right before attempting the nearly impossible “Triple Lutz.”

“I just want Ronnie and everyone back home to know I’m doing this for them!” said Ricketts. “Yay Cubbies!”

From the February 2010 issue by Brad Zibung. Subscribe today!