Longtime Cubs staffers today learned the hard way that new owner Tom Ricketts is a big fan of the HBO show “Entourage,” specifically the Ari Gold character played by Jeremy Piven who this season let staffers at a newly acquired company know they were fired by blasting them with a paintball gun.
That’s just what Ricketts did Friday morning at Wrigley Field before his first press conference as Cubs owner.
“What do you do here?” Ricketts asked Tim Wilken, who was sitting at a desk and told Ricketts he was the Cubs’ director of scouting.
“Director of scouting? I didn’t even know the Cubs had scouts,” Ricketts shouted at Wilken while firing multiple rounds into his chest. “Have you been sleeping on the job the last four years? You’re out of here.”
Next Ricketts happened upon trainer Mark O’Neal, who was hired in December 2004.
“O’Neal … I’ve waited a long time for this,” Ricketts said. “Every time I opened a sports section I read about yet another Cubs star hitting the DL. You’re toast.”
Ricketts then mercilessly emptied his paintball canister on O’Neal. He proceeded to fire at least 10 other staffers with his paintball gun. He also accidentally shot several fans gathered outside Wrigley Field, telling them, “Get used to it. Wait until you see ticket prices next season.”
“Now where the hell is Soriano?” Ricketts shouted while reloading his gun with paint. “I’ve got hundreds of rounds left for him.”
By Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief