In the wake of a flurry of scandal, including questions about his high school grades and whether someone else took his SAT, Bulls point guard Derrick Rose stunned Chicago sports fans by admitting he does not even play basketball.

“I’ve had a stand-in my entire career,” said Rose. “Grade school, high school, summer camp, the prom, I just always got somebody else to show for me. I mean, if you can get the credit without the effort, why not?”

Rose then added to the shock by disclosing that it was actually O.J. Mayo who played for the Bulls last season.

“O.J. and I are tight from way back,” said Rose. “He went to a bunch of hoops camps as me back in high school and did a great job, so I just let him do it again with the Bulls.”

From the June 2009 issue by Tom Evans