After Friday night’s nasty shoulder injury sidelined third baseman Aramis Ramirez for at least a month, Cubs manager Lou Piniella would like to know if you’re available to fill in tonight against the Brewers.

“I heard the kid played a little infield in high school, which is more than I can say about any of the other people I can plug in that spot tonight,” Piniella said about you. “And if he’s not doing anything, it would be great if he could play. We’d bat him sixth.”

While you’ve always dreamed about playing for the Cubs, you’re starting to think now might not be the best time for you to give it a shot. You’re 42, a little overweight and haven’t picked up a bat in nearly 10 years.

“Oh what the hell,” you said. “Could be fun. I was going to the game anyway. I’ll bring my glove.”

By Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief