Following a tough, extra-inning loss Sunday, the White Sox were able to take out frustrations on annual bottom-dwellers Kansas City, winning 7-3 Monday night. Sox players agreed a trip to Kauffman Stadium is just what a team needs after a loss.

“Playing in Kansas City is like playing basketball with the net lowered to eight feet,” said manager Ozzie Guillen. “The Royals are great for improving a team’s confidence.”

Although struggling against the Royals in recent years, the Sox took full advantage of Kansas City’s suckage Monday night. The team scored all their runs after the fifth, with Paul Konerko belting two tape measure shots. The game couldn’t have come at a better time for Konerko, who was only hitting .175 entering the contest.

“Jose Canseco said a ‘slump buster’ was when a player hooked up with an ugly girl, just so he could break a slump at the plate,” said Konerko, referencing Canseco’s book Juiced, which just barely missed winning a Pulitzer. “I think a true slump buster is getting to face the Royals’ bullpen.”

Mark Buehrle proved he is human after all. The lefty got the win, but gave up three earned runs in seven innings. Fans remained impressed.

“Mark Buehrle is the greatest athlete Chicago has ever seen, and I’m including Michael Jordan,” said Sox fan Paul Morris. “He must have given up the home run to (Royals catcher) John Buck on purpose.”

Number of the Night: 34
Points Paul Konerko raised his batting average after Monday’s three hits. The slugger is now batting a robust .209.

heckler editorial staff