One of the first phone calls Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle received after his no-hitter and following trade to the Cardinals was from his new teammate, first baseman Albert Pujols, who offered to help the pitcher move to his new home.

Buehrle, a native of St. Charles, Mo., has often expressed his love for his hometown team, and with contract talks at a standstill, the prolific pitcher is sure to be one his way out.

“Mark’s got a big, leather recliner to go along with a loveseat,” said Pujols. “It’ll be hard to get all of that onto his U-Haul and ready for the trip to St. Louis.”

Cardinals skipper Tony La Russa, familiar with both Chicago’s South Side and Busch Stadium, offered to give Buehrle a ride to his inevitable press conference welcoming him to his new team.

“Tony likes to have a few cocktails,” said Buehrle. “Maybe I’ll just ask him for directions.”

heckler editorial staff