In the last two years, Ron Rivera has interviewed for nine head coaching positions and has been passed over every time. Taking note of the league’s distain for Rivera, the Bears have also taken a pass on their defensive coordinator of the last three seasons and have unexpectedly decided not to renew Rivera’s expiring contract.

Head coach Lovie Smith, who is expected to receive a lucrative contract extension this off-season, will most likely promote his longtime friend and current assistant head coach and linebackers coach Bob Babich to the vacant position. Rumors have already begun to swirl that the new deal with the head coach has forced the team to cut corners by hiring an inexperienced assistant to replace Rivera.

“This has nothing to do with the Bears being cheap,” General Manager Jerry Angelo said at the Bears press conference Monday, speaking into a cheap megaphone instead of a microphone while standing on a makeshift podium made of a soap box. “It’s pretty simple, if nine other NFL teams have taken a pass on him, why the heck do we want him.”

heckler editorial staff