The Blackhawks have dropped three straight, two of them in overtime. The lost to the Pittsburgh Penguins in a shootout on Valentine’s Day then dropped both of their weekend games, one against Vancouver and the other the N.Y. Rangers.

This reporter was busy and forgot Chicago still had a hockey club. Because of this, it seems best to interview myself.

Reporter Kevin: What happened? You forgot they had a team?

Real Kevin: Yeah, that’s what a weekend full of pond hockey, booze and prostitutes will do to you. Wait, an you edit out that prostitute part?

Reporter Kevin: No.

Real Kevin. Dammit. I hate you.

Reporter Kevin: What is wrong with this team?

Real Kevin: Everything. No heart, no skill, no drive, no management. They look dead out there.

Reporter Kevin: So you did watch the games over the weekend?

Real Kevin: No. I was in Eagle River. They thought the Hawks had disbanded up there. Plus one of them was a home game. We all know those aren’t on TV.

Reporter Kevin: The Heckler doesn’t send you to games?

Real Kevin: No … cheap bastards. Wait, aren’t you the reporter?

Reporter Kevin: Yes.

Real Kevin: So you should be going to the games.

Reporter Kevin: Um, yeah I guess.

Real Kevin: Wait, who is who?

Reporter Kevin: I’m not sure.

Real Kevin: Me neither. Wanna grab a beer?

Reporter Kevin: You read my mind.

Real Kevin: I am your mind.

Reporter Kevin: What?

Real Kevin: Never mind. Go Blackhawks!

Number of the Weekend: 4
People who Tivo’d the Hawks game Sunday. Three were mistakes and the other guy thinks his box malfunctioned.

heckler editorial staff