The Blackhawks marched into Calgary last night and stole one, topping the Flames in a shootout, 3-2.

Martin Havlat was his usual ridiculous self, scoring both regulation goals and scoring one of the two shootout goals. He knows he has to carry his team for them to be successful.

“Look, I tell the guys ‘Hop on my back, I got this,'” Havlat told reporters. “I’m pretty much the best player I’ve ever seen. Of course, I don’t watch hockey on television. I find it a terribly boring sport. But I’m awesome at it. That much I know.”

The Flames goalie, Miikka Kiprusoff, stopped some point-blank chances from Tuomo Ruutu, Radim Vrbata and Martin Lapointe. The Finnish goalie was obviously upset about losing to the lowly Hawks.

“I no like losing to crappy team,” Kiprusoff said in an accent that is apparently the same as Russians. “Hawks one man team and I no stop him. Joke on him though. I urinate in his hockey bag.”

Number of the Night: 3
Times Havlat mooned Calgary fans.

heckler editorial staff