After two compelling road wins in a row, the Bulls finally ran out of gas, losing 100-95 against the Jazz last night. With this win, the Jazz have swept the Bulls for the first time since 2002. After the game, Coach Scott Skiles lauded his team’s ability to ‘really suck ass’ when it counts.

“I thought we played great basketball for three quarters of the game,” Skiles said. “But we have an uncanny ability to play like a bag of jackasses when it counts. We’re good at that.”

Kirk Hinrich posted a game-high 26 points, while Ben Gordon stunk it up with 11 points and a flagrant foul.

Forward Andres Nocioni sat out with plantar fasciitis, and will likely be sidelined until after the All-Star break.

“I’ve only had two injuries in my whole life,” Nocioni said. “The other was when I fell off my bike and scraped my knee last year. But mommy was there to give my ouchy kisses and make it all better.”

Number of the Night: 4
Times Nocioni vomited after he ate 12 corn dogs on a dare from a fan sitting behind the Bulls bench.

heckler editorial staff