Following a recent dispatch of more troops to the Mideast, President Bush is once again attempting to correct a previous wrong. The Commander in Chief has told the Bears they must lose this Sunday and give the people of New Orleans and their Saints a trip to Super Bowl XLI.

“My administration failed to prepare New Orleans for a Category 5 hurricane,” Bush said. “Due to this major oversight, the levees were not secure, which could have saved many lives, avoided destruction of numerous homes and businesses. I will fix this by declaring the Saints as the victors of the NFC.”

Unhappy about the President’s decision, head coach Lovie Smith remained levelheaded about the situation.

“Would we certainly like a chance to play in the Super Bowl,” said Smith. “But this is a direct order from the President. What else can we do? We’ll just have to look to next year and maybe hope for a natural disaster of our own.”

While it seems Smith and the Bears will follow the commands, there has been a backlash from Bears fans.

“He’s just upset Illinois was a blue state in both ’00 and ’04,” said Bears fan and Democrat Jessica Keller. “Maybe once Obama’s in the White House we’ll have four years of Bears Super Bowl victories.”

heckler editorial staff