The Blackhawks have lost seven straight, the most recent of which took place Tuesday night at the United Center against the Columbus Blue Jackets 5-4 in overtime. It was their second-straight overtime loss and the second game in a row in which they blew a 3-1 lead.

Hawks goaltender Nikolai Khabibulin struggled and let in five goals despite only seeing 18 shots.

The game was one of the very few televised home games. Owner/tyrant Bill Wirtz, who has a well-known and puzzling phobia of televising home games, was not too happy when he found out the game was on the Versus cable network. So angry at all of Chicago was Wirtz that he threatened to buy the Bears and mismanage them into a black hole too.

“I didn’t authorize that televised game,” Wirtz screamed at reporters. “This city thinks it can pull the wool over ol’ Dollar Bill’s eyes? They’ve got another thing coming. I’ll make the Bears the second worst sports franchise in the world.”

The Bears better win this year. Wirtz’s threats are terrifying.

“And just as icing on the cake,” he added with his patented “grinchy” smirk, “I’m making Bob Pulford the general manager.”

heckler editorial staff