The Cubs won just one game against the Colorado Rockies this weekend to finish out the season with a record of 66-96. It was just their 36th win at home.

On Friday, Carlos Zambrano impressed everyone who may be considering him for the Cy Young award with a typical seven-inning performance. Z walked four batters, and forced in a run by hitting a batter as he and the Cubs lost 5-2.

On Saturday, the Cubs came all the way back from an 8-0 deficit only to lose a five-hour game in the 14th inning 11-9.

And on Sunday, Wade Miller gave up four earned runs as the Cubs won their last game 8-5, finishing in last place with the worst record in the National League.

The biggest news, however, was that team president Andy MacPhail resigned his position.

“That’s one way to say it,” said MacPhail’s boss, Tribune Company CEO Dennis FitzSimons. “Another way to say it is that we fired his lame-ass and told him to take his gigantic eyeglasses and park his yacht in another harbor.”

Makes sense that someone was finally fired this year.

The Cubs’ longest winning streak was four games. But their manager has yet to be canned.

The team set a franchise record with 687 walks and set a record for most pitching changes in a season. They had one complete game. By a rookie pitcher. But their pitching coach got to stay.

Their third base coach got charged with a DUI. Got to stay.

Their team batting average was .268 and the collective OBP was .319. They were 15th in the league in runs scored. But the hitting coach got to stay.

Apparently, Andy MacPhail, who actually had to be reminded what team he worked for, and what sport they played, was 100 percent to blame for a 66-win season.

“Yeah, that and all the injuries.” said manager Dusty Baker.

Newly appointed interim President John McDonough opened his press conference by calling the 2006 season an “overwhelming success,” pointing out that the Cubs drew 3,123,215 fans during the year.

Number of the Day:  47
Days until Neifi Perez and Dusty Baker are gloriously reunited on Dusty’s new team.

heckler editorial staff