In a bold effort to boost slumping ratings, WGN Radio has employed the talents of recently ousted radio shock jock, Mancow Muller. Teamed with Ron Santo and Pat Hughes, Mancow’s non-traditional approach has already raised some eyebrows.

In addition to introducing a nightly wet T-shirt contest during the seventh-inning stretch, Mancow has added a bit he calls “Midget Beer-a-Thon” where a male little person in a thong pours beer over the head of an unsuspecting senior citizen sitting below the radio booth. Perhaps regretting its decision, WGN has already threatened Mancow with suspension.

“This is all about free speech and American values,” said an indignant Mancow. “Clearly WGN wants to let the terrorists win. If a midget in a thong can’t run around pouring beer on people, then we must live in a police state.”

Since that statement, Mancow has introduced “Midget Porn Fest,” “Midget Wrestling,” and “Midget Races,” all to lukewarm reviews.

Mancow’s new on-air partners aren’t thrilled with his antics, either.

“Ohhh no!” exclaimed Santo during a recent bit involving two strippers and a tray of nachos. “This is all wrong!”

heckler editorial staff