After going winless at home for the month, the Cubs finally found the cure for their ailments Wednesday—a washed up opposing reliever.

Down 3-1 in the eighth after their own bullpen handed the game to the Milwaukee Brewers, the Cubs struck back with five runs in the bottom of the inning off Danny Kolb, whose ERA resembles the Goodyear Blimp.

Derrek Lee’s two-run shot tied the game at three and the Cubs added three more “AAA Insurance Runs.” Closer Ryan Dempster held the 6-3 lead by striking out the side in the the ninth just a day after giving up four runs.

In all, the Cubs knocked out 13 hits behind starter Carlos Marmol, who gave up just one run with eight strikeouts over six and a third innings.

The North Siders now stand poised to even the four-game series tomorrow.

“Anytime we can split a set with a very, very mediocre team, we’re happy,” said hitting coach Gene Clines. “If we only face bad teams and right-handed pitching the rest of the year, we just might win half our games to get us back to 18 under .500.”

In honor of the Cubs’ first home win in the month, the city has planned a parade through Wrigleyville Friday, ending at Daley Plaza. Instead of the traditional championship ticker-tape confetti, the Cubs front office will provide discarded season tickets and shredded “Believe” bracelets.

Number of the day: 0
People who will attend the above-mentioned parade.

heckler editorial staff