Tattered and torn and generally overused, the Cubs will replace the blue “L” flag, flown over the bleachers after a loss, with a flag reading “We Tried Real Hard.” The new flag is expected to fly starting with their next home loss, which will likely occur at the next home game. It’s a move supported by both management and players.

“I think our fans will appreciate this decision,” said team president Andy MacPhail. “We want everyone to know this team is earning every cent of the $95 million payroll, because we try real hard.”

“Dude, we deserve that flag,” said manager Dusty Baker. “Loss is an ugly word and my spirit horse says trying real hard is what matters.”

“It’s source of pride,” said second baseman Todd Walker. “Losing like this takes a tremendous amount of effort. They couldn’t fly that flag on the South Side. Now our fans will know how hard we’ve tried, only to be eliminated from the playoffs by mid-July.”

heckler editorial staff