The vaunted Chicago defense did their best to preserve their honor by stating they would, one week after games actually matter, lead the NFC to victory in the Pro Bowl.  Embarrassed on their home turf by Carolina’s offensive outburst nearly one month ago, led by wide receiver Steve Smith, in the divisional playoff round, the Bears All-Pros have decided to draw a line in the sand of the beaches of Hawaii.

“They ain’t gonna score 29 points, I’ll tell you that,” declared linebacker Lance Briggs. “And they can stick that on the bulletin board for all I care.”

Cornerback Nathan Vasher was also fired up.

“You tell Peyton Manning it’s going to be like the Steelers times 10!” shouted Vasher. “We will not lie down like we did against the Panthers—our pride is at stake!”

Defensive tackle Tommie Harris claimed that he wouldn’t dare let this opportunity pass.

“That was my first playoff game, and while the whole world watched, I let myself, my team and my city down,” he said. “Now, with way fewer people watching, I promise I will not disappoint them. Or myself.”

AFC head coach Mike Shanahan could not be reached for comment, as he was busy, intensely playing pool volleyball with AFC players, who also couldn’t be bothered for a reaction.

heckler editorial staff