Friday, April 12, 2024

Dallas Cowboys to interview Chug-Chug the Comeback Clown

Chug-Chug the Comeback Clown has emerged as the latest candidate for the Dallas Cowboys' head coaching position. Chug-Chug, who is the official mascot of The Heckler, is expected to travel to Dallas later this week for an interview.

Svelte Sammy nears return to Rangers

In 1985, the Texas Rangers signed a malnourished teenager named Sammy Sosa. Twenty-two years later, Sosa is nearing a return to the Rangers with a minor league deal. Just like he did when he was 16, Sosa now weighs 140 pounds.

NBA Preview: Houston Rockets

Why They Might Be Good: Rockets trainer Keith Jones is optimistic that fragile forward Tracy McGrady will make it through the season injury-free. "He had pins put in his left ankle, right shoulder, both knees, coccygeal vertebrae, right earlobe, the index and middle fingers of his shooting hand, and his johnson. We're confident he'll play up to his potential this season–especially if the brain transplant took."