Illinois

Bears head coach Lovie Smith will reportedly go sans shoes on Sunday afternoon in hopes of distracting New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan, an admitted foot-fetishist.

You may have recently read that Lou Piniella is enjoying his retirement by serving as a shopping mall Santa Claus in suburban Florida. Well, we at The Heckler stole Sweet Lou for a couple minutes to help us wish all of you a great holiday season and prosperous 2011. We've got a lot of big, fun plans in store and hope you and your friends will join us for all of it.

As the Bears approach the close of the 2010 season, many players are reflected on changes in the past year. Key off-season free agent acquisition Julius Peppers has been an anchor of one of the toughest defenses in the league, but the lucrative contract-signing came one critical mistake for the North Carolina native who was forced to leave his favorite barbecue restaurants behind in the Carolinas.

The Cubs GM is afraid to tell owner Tom Ricketts about the additional three years and $45 million he included in the Carlos Pena deal.

Just a few days after the Rex Ryan foot-fetish scandal, new videos have surfaced online depicting what appears to be MaryAnne Smith, wife of Bears head coach Lovie Smith, in several tedious, uninteresting situations.

Jake Peavy prides himself on “telling it like it is,” yet the right-hander shocked even the most seasoned of reporters yesterday when he gave a very candid prediction for his season. “I think I’ll probably go 7-5 and suffer some freak injury about a week or 10 days into August. Let’s say, Aug. 9 against the Orioles.”

In a sly move by the White Sox biggest rival, the Twins tricked the South Siders into signing a 14-year-old girl sharing the same name as reliever Jesse Crain for $13 million over the next three seasons. The Twins resigned the real Jesse Crain for considerably cheaper.