Illinois

Bombers co-owner Hal Steinbrenner feels a degree of guilt over the mess of a franchise the Cubs have become and has offered to let Tom Ricketts borrow some “baseball people” for the extent of the three-game interleague series.

Ozzie Guillen was barred for life from Wheaton Warrenville South High after delivering a withering, explicit speech at the graduation ceremony of the school’s class of 2011.

The Yankees aren't the only ones upset about Derek Jeter being placed on the DL just before the team's series at Wrigley.

Bettman made the announcement from a limousine in downtown Vancouver that was being rocked back and forth by a few dozen local hooligans Wednesday night.

As the architect of a complete team failure, most would think Jim Hendry might spend his days weeping quietly while hiding in the bathroom, but he just can’t help himself from crowing about Carlos Pena’s .200+ batting average. “Everybody said he’d be lucky to hit .200. You reporters, you fans, you ‘baseball experts.’ Even Carlos himself said it."

"Sure, the weather may be crummy some days, but there's so much we can do inside," you wife said, nearly delusional with giddy. "Instead of the usual January tradition--following 16 NFL games, hoping a Fantasy team can make the playoffs--we can spend that entire day giving the kitchen a good, hard cleaning. I mean really attacking it."

Former Cy Young winner and perpetual train wreck Dwight Gooden has signed with the Cubs through the end of the season to give their much maligned starting rotation some depth.