Chicken Little, noted Bears fan, freaks out despite team’s 7-2 record
"It's all over!" he shouted, looking for cover as if the very columns of Soldier Field were going to crumble atop him. "We're barely still in first place more than halfway through the season! What happens if we lose every game the rest of the year!"
Chicago Bears Bingo — Week 10 (Houston Texans)
Play along as the Bears take on the Texans in a game the media will hail as the Bears' chance to prove themselves against a real team.
NHL, NHLPA stuck on whether to move Canucks, or burn Vancouver, then move Canucks
“Whether you’re a big-shot team owner or a fourth-line enforcer, everyone can agree that we’re tired of Vancouver’s crap,” said the unnamed source. “I mean, they already tore half the city down themselves. These guys just want to finish the job.”
Charles Tillman ‘Peanut Punch’ T-Shirt, with $5 going to Tillman’s charity for every shirt...
Great news! Peanut Tillman liked our shirt so much that we're now partnering with him to donate $5 of each one sold to his foundation. So by buying one you're getting a great shirt AND helping a great cause.
Tillman trademarks Forced Fumble™
"I think I have pretty much mastered the art of the forced fumble so I think I should benefit from it," Tillman said.
Chicago voters affirm ban on sleeves at U.S. Cellular Field
"This will make games at the Cell even more jam-packed with sinister-looking fans with tattoos of 80's metal band names on their guns," said Benowski, displaying the Anthrax tat on his arm. "Awesome, right? Sleeves are for [expletive deleted] Cubs fans!"
Carl Weathers NFL Power Rankings — Week 9, 2012
Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Despite playing in only 8 NFL games, he was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.
