Chicago

"Gee, that's a tough one," Thibs said. "I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV, but I would think that four years would be more than sufficient time for a knee injury to heal."

“I’m glad to finally reach a point where my teammates and even a few fans will remember my name,” said Bickell. “Up until two weeks ago, Coach Q called me ‘Hey, big guy!’ And when my jerseys came misspelled? Oh man ... Frolik still calls me ‘Bickett.’”

When Cubs’ skipper Dale Sveum congratulated closer Kevin Gregg on earning his seventh save of the season, the right-hander was taken by total surprise, responding, “You’re full of [expletive deleted].”

The Bears dealt struggling tackle Gabe Carimi to the Buccaneers Sunday, successfully converting the 2011 first-round pick into a sixth-round pick in 2014.

The weekend’s brutal series loss and horrific blood letting to the Pirates shocked those Cub fans who haven’t read Ronnie R.R. Wickers novel “Game of Cubs.”

A statement from both mayors said, “These two great cities are billions in debt, so it would be irresponsible for us to make the usual bet, like 200 pounds of Vienna beef hot dogs and a couple of frozen deep-dish pizzas for a few dozen lobsters and a gallon of chowder.”

Asked about the video, Pat Kane Sr. said “Yeah, yeah, yeah … 22 career playoff goals. Of course they’re in the video. But Patrick scored the hat trick because I secretly spliced Miracle on Ice into the film. You know, subliminally, the way the words ‘order a pizza’ are invisibly edited into those late night infomercials for exercise machines.”