Despite beating the Detroit Lions and keeping their playoff hopes alive pending the outcome of the Vikings-Packers game, the Chicago Bears were officially eliminated from the postseason by the crew of FOX NFL Sunday.

“Nope, their win was too ugly,” said Terry Bradshaw. “These guys just don’t have what it takes to keep up with the likes of the Cowboys. I mean it’s not like the Bears absolutely crushed the Cowboys in Dallas earlier this very season, right?”

Bradshaw’s co-hosts agreed.

“Only teams who have pretty victories can make noise in the postseason,” said Jimmy Johnson. “Look at the 49ers. Sure they got blown out recently, but that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen five minutes ago, and I’m disappointed now!”

As a result of their strong opinions, the NFL has decided to officially eliminate the Bears from the playoffs and hand the remaining spot to the Vikings, who, despite having six losses, have played perfect football all season long and deserve to play in January, regardless of whether they beat the Packers.

hecklerstaff