As their road woes continue, the Cubs announced today that all remaining 2019 games following their current road trip will be played at Wrigley Field.

Current owners of a respectable 24-11 record at home, the Cubs are only 13-18 on the road, after dropping their first two games in Denver this week. Team leadership has been struggling to figure out how to resolve the issue until taking this latest measure.

“If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” said team President Crane Kenney. “Or in this case, if you can’t beat ’em, change the rules and make ’em join you.”

Kenney said the Cubs aren’t afraid that MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred will be able to stop the move.

“Little Robbie, as I call him, is powerless,” said Kenney. “The guy can’t figure out how to address the league’s plummeting attendance numbers so why would he care if we moved all our remaining games to one of the league’s most-packed parks?”

Added Kenney: “Come and get me Little Robbie.”

hecklerbrad