The Cubs shocked the sports world Tuesday, waiving injured superstar Kris Bryant to make a permanent roster spot for surging rookie David Bote.

“This was not an easy decision, but we feel that with so many people speculating what we would do with our lineup once Kris returned from his injury that this was our best path,” said Cubs President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein, “Since everyone has been asking us about this feels comfortable with Bote’s 76 big league at-bats being all they need to decide he could potential unseat a one-time league MVP, we figured ‘Why not?’.”

Bryant is expected to be on the shelf a few more weeks with his injury but is already talking about signing with the Cardinals or Brewers to have an immediate impact on the N.L. Central stretch run.

“I never really forgave the Cubs for delaying my call-up two weeks back in 2015 to screw me out of a year of service time,” said Bryant while chugging his fifth Red Bull of the morning. “This will be my way of getting back at them. Good luck with Bote guys!”

Idea submitted by Paul H