Despite a crushing loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday that moved the team to 2-7, Chicago Bears ownership still believes the franchise is the best NFL operation in Chicago.
“I don’t really follow the sport or the league much, but as far as I know Chicago doesn’t have a second team,” said Chairman George McCaskey. “So, from that standpoint, we could go 2-14 this season, and we’d still technically be the best team in the league based in Chicago.”
“And considering what a big city this is, that’s not nothing,” he added.
When pressed on whether the team would keep head coach John Fox and GM Ryan Pace following the season, McCaskey paused.
“I’ll have to look into who those people are,” he said. “Owning the Bears is not so much about football as the dollars and cents, and I can tell you from personal experience this franchise is like a cash cow. Again, going back to the fact that Chicago only has one team, unless something has changed. I should probably fact-check that. The Bears are still a football team, right? I hear soccer is getting more popular these days.”
Following the interview, McCaskey showed reporters the contract for a new sponsorship deal with local Ford dealerships.
“Check this out. Do you have any idea how much money I’m going to make off this shit?” he joked. “Win. Lose. Doesn’t really matter if you ask my accountant. Which I do. Hell, he might even coach the team for all I know! I’ve always been more of a baseball fan, anyway. Go Sox! They’re really good too, aren’t they?”