With their bats in permanent slumber, Joe Maddon has again turned to his unique baseball methods of wizardry, announcing on Wednesday that the Cubs will play NLCS Game 4 in their pajama onesies. This move seems appropriate after the entire team was put to bed early on Tuesday night from 45 mph Rich Hill curveballs.
“Let’s face it, the guys are playing a little tight,” said Maddon. “I want them all loosey goosey out there. Seeing Addison in his pink onesie and Rizz in his Taylor Swift pj’s will bring about a great chuckle amongst the guys, which is what we need right now more than a base-on-balls or a clutch hit.”
One player unexcited about Playoffs Onesie Day was Jason Heyward, who has been asleep for pretty much the entire season.
“Those pajamas don’t provide much protection and I might get spiked in a place where the sun don’t shine,” said a reluctant Heyward. “On second thought, how am I going to get hurt on three pop-ups to third and a strikeout? Let’s do this!”