As if the Monday night home loss to the upstart Eagles wasn’t painful enough. Now comes news that no Bears fan wants to hear: Jay Cutler has injured his smoking hand.
The damage occurred during the 3rd quarter of the Bears season home opener against the Eagles. After Cutler threw an interception, he went back to the sideline, exuding his usual cheery body language. Nobody thought anything of Cutler’s interception until they saw Smokin’ Jay try to replace his existing cigarette with a brand new Menthol Slim. Then it was clear something was very wrong.
With ligament damage sustained in his right thumb, there’s no guarantee that Cutler will be able to work the lighter and take a drag the next time he needs to get down with a good puff. In other words, Cutler won’t be able to smoke anymore while he’s throwing passes, reading his playbook, shaking hands with Drew Brees, conducting post-game pressers, or riding up a mountain on a unicorn. The poor quarterback won’t even be able to blow cigarette rings at children who come up and seek his autograph.
Although there is no timetable for his return to smoking, Cutler’s camp is optimistic that within a few weeks he will be able to start using a nicoderm patch and then shortly afterwards he can ramp up to a vape pen. Best case scenario, he’ll be puffing out smoke rings and menthol pirate ships while he’s getting sacked by the Packers defense on October 20th in Green Bay.