As the saying goes, even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile, and for Cubs outfielder Junior Lake that situation occurred on Wednesday night in Miami with his team trailing 6-0 when he deposited an 85 mph meatball that most average college players could hit 400 feet into the left field stands for a home run. Mistaking himself for an actual major leaguer, the .243 career hitting Lake flipped his bat in celebration and shushed the Marlins dugout while rounding the bases, causing both benches to empty.

“I am the new Sammy Sosa,” said Lake, who has struck out at a 32 percent clip over his 584 career at-bats. “Pretty soon I will have hit over 600 home runs and will be in the Hall of Fame.”

Teammate, friend and countryman Starlin Castro – who fueled the fire on Monday night with a 30 second lope around the bases following his first home run in a month – also mistook Lake for an actual major leaguer after the game.

“Junior is a five-tool player and will lead us to the World Series every year for the next decade,” said Castro. “It’s just too bad I’ll be playing for the Mets during that time.”

Jeremy Barewin