Looking to boost the mother ship’s sagging ratings for Texas hold ’em, ESPN today announced 10 celebrity strip poker specials. The first special will feature the cast of The Voice.
“Of course we’re excited,” said ESPN President John Skipper. “What woman in America is not tuning in for the chance to see Adam [Levine], Pharrell [Williams] or Blake [Shelton] lose their shirt? Women are gonna be praying for Adam to fold.”
“I don’t wanna give too much away, but we’re gonna have a Grey’s Anatomy special as well. We were gonna have a The View special but we quickly came to our senses.”
“Also, we haven’t forgotten about some of our regular tour players. Our viewers will be getting a good look at Vanessa Rousso and Patrick Antonius. Jennifer Tilly and Shannon Elizabeth will be there as well. Lindsay Lohan, Susan Boyle and that Octomom lady have signed up for a future date. One special has Charlie Sheen tell the dealer to go stick…well you’ll have to tune in.”
ESPN has named Sage Steele and Michelle Beadle as hosts. ESPN also wanted it to be known that the hosts will not be taking off their clothes during the telecast.
“Obviously we can’t air the actual nudity. Strategically placed cards with be used to cover the private parts for TV. We’re guessing both men and women will be tuning in to see who’s taking off what. I know I’ll be watching.”