Carl Weathers, master thespian and former Oakland Raider, watches every NFL game from his man cave to compile his weekly Power Rankings exclusively for Heckler readers. Mr. Weathers, despite playing only eight career NFL games, was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1980.
10 – Chicago Bears The Dominators of Ditka destroy ‘Pokes on Ditka Day, 45-28 (starting Dallas on their annual December of Descent). Josh McCown throws for 348 and accounts for 5 TDs!
9 – Philadelphia Eagles Phighting Philadelphians pummel limp Lions 34-20 in snowy game more fit for penguins. This week’s Master of Disaster goes to LeSean McCoy ran for his 217 sledding yards and 2 TDs.
8 – San Francisco 49ers Fourty Niners Flog Seattle 19-17 in brass knuckle brawl by the bay. Frank Gore runs for 110 yards, including big 51-yard run to setup game winning FG.
7 – Kansas City Chiefs Kansas City Krush in the Kapital! Alex Smith leads resurgent Chiefs offense to 45-10 route of Redskins (2 TD passes).
6 – Carolina Panthers Carolina Cams see their 8-game winning streak snapped by Superdome Saints in a 31-13 setback. Newton accounts for only 208 total yards/1 TD.
5 – New Orleans Saints Boys of Brees get their swagger back on, rip Carolina 31-13 to take commanding lead in NFC South. Marques Colston corrals 125 yards worth of passes and scores twice.
4 – New England Patriots Tom plays more like Carroll Brady in first half (6-0 Browns at the intermission) but completes sensational 27-26 comeback win by toasting Cleveland for 2 TDs in the final 61 seconds of the game.
3 – Seattle ‘Hawks Seattle nipped by 2 away from their Pacific West noise nest. Niners hold Russell Wilson to just 199 pass yards/1 TD.
2 – Denver Broncos Men of Manning mount Titans 51-28, Peyton throws 59 pitches (4 for TD strikes). One of those fancy boy kickers made a real long field goal.
1 – Oakland Raiders This date in Raider History: John Madden, while lying naked on a bearskin rug in Reno, wrote the code for the first edition of his Madden video game series.
Program note – The December 15th edition of the untelevised NFL pregame show starring myself and Marv Levy will boldly go where no pregame show has gone before: Where you ask? Well, it’s a secret, you’ll just have to tune in! Check your local listings to see times in your area, we welcome guests Joe Montana, Ozzy Osbourne & Barry Sanders.