Saying they believe in giving people second and third chances, the Chicago Cubs announced they have hired Milton Bradley, currently serving a three-year prison sentence, to be their new radio analyst.
“In Milton’s case, we’re bending the rules a little by giving him eighth and ninth chances,” a team press release stated. Candidates Todd Hollandsworth, Steve Lyons, Rick Sutcliffe and Eric Karros were not given serious consideration.
“Borrrringgg,” the release said of those rejected.
“Unfortunately, Milton will be incarcerated until the start of the 2016 season, so we’ll have to wait just a bit longer.”
In the interim, several guest analysts well-known to Chicago will be part of the broadcasts.
“We’ve already signed Carlos Zambrano, Jerry Springer, former mayor Jane Byrne and disc jockeys Eddie and JoBo,” said a team source.