Record: 2-5 (2-2 vs. San Diego, 0-3 vs. Cincinnati)

Another Triple B week (bases on balls, blown saves and bobbles) for the Boys in Blue with the club slipping to nine games under .500. Cub hitters looked especially feeble with runners in scoring position, leading many to wonder if their bats were only equipped with automatic transmissions (no clutch). ESPN’s Buster Olney even questioned whether they had opposable thumbs.

After a series split with the Padres, the North Siders were shown the broom by old friend Dusty Baker and the Large Crimson Contraption. Carlos Marmol had the implosion of the week Saturday, blowing a 4-2 lead vs. Cincy with the poo-poo platter of walks, wild pitches and hit batters only he’s capable of serving.

On the positive side of the ledger, Scott Feldman won his second straight start Wednesday (6-2 over the Padres) and Anthony Rizzo extended his hitting streak to six games. Also, no further threats were made by Tom Ricketts to move the team to a suburb or Iowa.

MVP: Alfonso Soriano – The slugging slowpoke in right hit .391 with three doubles and two homers. Mr. May continues to live up to the nickname he’s been called since the beginning of this sentence.

LVP: Edwin Jackson – Cub fans were left to wonder why the off-season’s premiere pitching acquisition doesn’t show the same dedication to missing games like Bulls guard Derrick Rose. Jackson went 0-2 by giving up 12 earned runs in just over nine innings while his ERA plumped like a ballpark frank.

Ask the Magic 8-Ball: Will Kevin Gregg ever have another save opportunity this season?

Magic 8-Ball says: Reply hazy, try again.

Patrick O. Elia