Two historic firsts were announced this week in two fields dominated by stereotypes of machismo and the effeminate.  Jason Collins, journeyman center in the NBA, made the bold move to announce he is the first openly gay current player in a major American sport. Jaws really hit the floor Wednesday when United Airlines attendant Bruce Pepperwinkle announced over the intercom of F9504 30,000 feet over Pueblo, CO that he was in fact, openly straight and proposed to his long time girlfriend, Alex Sallinger.

“I always just assumed Alex was a man’s name,” said Captain John T. Morris. “I’m flabbergasted.”


Mark Pants