As heavy rains and flooding pounded the Chicago area Thursday, a small crowd of White Sox fans gathered around a South Side sinkhole they mistook for U.S. Cellular Field.

“Aw hell no, I didn’t even know the Sox were playin’ tonight,” said one fan who only went by the name Billy Bob. “The Cell looks a little different than I remember, but it’s been a few years since I’ve been here so who knows.”

Billy Bob said he didn’t need the “candy-ass” atmosphere of Wrigley Field to enjoy himself at the sinkhole he and a dozen or so other die-hard Sox fans were mistaking for a stadium.

“The Cell might not pretty, but at least it doesn’t smell like piss like Wrigley does,” said Billy Bob. “Actually, it does smell a little like sewage here today, but that’s probably just Adam Dunn’s batting average stinkin’ up the joint.”

hecklerstaff