The White Sox are getting set to return to the South Side for the 2013 season, and there are a few changes to the left field “Fundamentals Deck” that might be enticing to many of the team’s fans.

Gone is the Race Scott Podsednik Station. This year, it’s been replaced by a 2005-themed mullet salon, complete with WiFi for fans to post to their friends’ Facebook pages about how amazing winning the World Series is. They can also update their social media profile pictures to Ozzie Guillen, all while Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” blares on repeat.

For the less fortunate Sox fan, commonly known as every Sox fan, the children’s-sized baseball diamond has been taken out and a mini trailer park has been installed. Children can enjoy the rusted out 1978 Chevy truck on blocks, and adults can test their hitchin’ skills on the timed trailer hitch station.

Other new features include a Camaro decal design station, small claims civil suit court and a staffing agency for the 65% of unemployed Sox fans.

Brew Dreesus