The Cubs announced today the long-awaited plans for the rehab of Wrigley Field. The renovation calls for a retro look going back to the 1960s, including a dome and the use of AstroTurf.

“We’re just tired of all these new stadiums with their quaint little nooks and crannies, and every single one of them using grass, they’re all the same,” said Cubs President Theo Epstein. “We thought going truly retro with the look, and I mean a domed multi-purpose stadium, we’re going to enhance the fans’ experience. A father can take his young son to the game and remember what it was like as a child when he saw Three Rivers, Riverfront, or The Astrodome for the first time. It will bring tears to his eyes.”

The plan calls for the complete demolishing of the existing grandstand and bleachers and rebuilding it with a perfectly round symmetrical stadium with a fixed dome over the field. Another retro aspect of the stadium is the team’s call for complete public funding for the project. No word on that part of the plan was heard from City Hall.

John F