Lakeview resident and longtime Cubs fan Bob Benson has a short wish list this holiday season. In lieu of the usual flatscreen TV or fancy new car, Benson simply wants the emails from to stop laying siege to his inbox.

“I get it — jackets and hats are 25% off!” he said, exasperated. “Do I really need five emails a day reminding me that I can get all my holiday shopping done at once right there at”

Benson, who purchased a lone hat from back in 2009, has never visited the store since. But that hasn’t deterred the Cubs marketing team.

“Sure, there’s a chance he might opt out,” said Alvin Hayes, VP of Marketing. “But our algorithms suggest he’ll buy at least one more item sometime in the next few years, if only out of guilt. And the best thing is that we just sit back and watch the emails roll out — it’s all automated!”