Veteran ESPN broadcaster Chris Berman will take a break from his usual football duties this evening, and will instead moderate the third and final debate between President Barack Obama and challenger Mitt Romney.

“The first two debates were arguments for the ages, but this final showdown will be the rumblin’est, stumblin’est clash of ideologies ever!” Berman shouted to himself in the mirror during prep this morning. “They’re gonna be the quickest two minute rebuttals in history! Whooop!”

The previous debates have been marked by criticism of the moderators from both sides of the aisle.

“Jim [Lehrer] was too hands-off and Candy [Crowley] was too hands-on,” said Berman. “When this last matchup is over, people are going to be talking about the Brawla in Boca! Or maybe the Greatest Argument Since The Immaculate Reception, whatever that means!”

Heckler George